When my wife was pregnant with our second child, she told me about a Chinese holistic health thing she had read. It went something like this…
“Upon birth of the child, it is important for the mother to remain patient as she gradually returns to her pre-pregnancy body”
The article stated that to heal adequately, the woman could take between 9-18 months. The same time frame or double the time of her total pregnancy.
I’m no doctor, but I believe there is wisdom in this type of approach when it comes to healing.
Our bodies and minds develop a muscle memory of sorts. Whether we are dealing with a broken bone or stress and duress. Our survival instincts tell us that we must continue to move forward, so we often fight through the pain or the anguish, since it is being stuck in the situation, that we fear. So, instead of being patient with ourselves, we rush through the process of healing.
Like a broken bone that wasn’t set right, we never truly heal correctly. Our bodies and minds are a mess of scar tissue, held together with a figurative duct tape of sorts.
We don’t have the time nor the money to simply wait and take our time. We lie to the doctor, we put on a smile to quickly get out of answering questions and we limp along. Usually causing more damage along the way.
The next time we get hurt, our minds nor our bodies are aptly prepared to deal with any new injury, since we never finished healing from the last catastrophe. So, when we attempt to fix the new wound, we apply more duct tape.
Underneath of it all, these oozing wounds slowly begin to show, at the worst possible time. We begin to spiral, our attention seems impossible to hold for more than a few seconds. We are experiencing inappropriate outbursts on those we love, since we cannot show our true face to the world. So, our family bears the brunt of our rash decisions.
We begin to run 🏃♀️, run from our loved ones, run from our jobs and run from our problems. Again, we cannot be still or patient with ourselves, since that means, we might be far worse than we initially thought.
It’s hard to heal, when all of your white blood cells are stuck in deep layers of scar tissue. It’s hard to heal, when your mind and your body has forgotten how to heal. It’s hard to heal from a new wound, when your old wounds still haven’t finished healed.
If all we would have done in the first place is take our time and allow ourselves to heal.
The amount of time that is required to heal, has become a lifetime of recognizing and reflecting. Perhaps it’s the natural order, perhaps this is all self inflicted…
Regardless, it’s life.