How Long Until I’m Better?

When my wife was pregnant with our second child, she told me about a Chinese holistic health thing she had read. It went something like this…

“Upon birth of the child, it is important for the mother to remain patient as she gradually returns to her pre-pregnancy body”

The article stated that to heal adequately, the woman could take between 9-18 months. The same time frame or double the time of her total pregnancy.

I’m no doctor, but I believe there is wisdom in this type of approach when it comes to healing.

Our bodies and minds develop a muscle memory of sorts. Whether we are dealing with a broken bone or stress and duress. Our survival instincts tell us that we must continue to move forward, so we often fight through the pain or the anguish, since it is being stuck in the situation, that we fear. So, instead of being patient with ourselves, we rush through the process of healing.

Like a broken bone that wasn’t set right, we never truly heal correctly. Our bodies and minds are a mess of scar tissue, held together with a figurative duct tape of sorts.

We don’t have the time nor the money to simply wait and take our time. We lie to the doctor, we put on a smile to quickly get out of answering questions and we limp along. Usually causing more damage along the way.

The next time we get hurt, our minds nor our bodies are aptly prepared to deal with any new injury, since we never finished healing from the last catastrophe. So, when we attempt to fix the new wound, we apply more duct tape.

Underneath of it all, these oozing wounds slowly begin to show, at the worst possible time. We begin to spiral, our attention seems impossible to hold for more than a few seconds. We are experiencing inappropriate outbursts on those we love, since we cannot show our true face to the world. So, our family bears the brunt of our rash decisions.

We begin to run 🏃‍♀️, run from our loved ones, run from our jobs and run from our problems. Again, we cannot be still or patient with ourselves, since that means, we might be far worse than we initially thought.

It’s hard to heal, when all of your white blood cells are stuck in deep layers of scar tissue. It’s hard to heal, when your mind and your body has forgotten how to heal. It’s hard to heal from a new wound, when your old wounds still haven’t finished healed.

If all we would have done in the first place is take our time and allow ourselves to heal.

The amount of time that is required to heal, has become a lifetime of recognizing and reflecting. Perhaps it’s the natural order, perhaps this is all self inflicted…

Regardless, it’s life.


27 thoughts on “How Long Until I’m Better?

  1. I dont know why our culture adopted the “suck it up buttercup” attitude, but you’re right, its damaging.
    The only way to heal properly is to have a health professional clean out the scar tissue, clean the would and let it heal properly.

    I see that our society recognizes that mental health is as important as physical health, at least lip service is being paid. Unfortunately, there’s still stigma and the “suck it up” attitude.

    I’m glad I broke from the stigma. I’m still healing…

      1. True, but I think we all need help or guidance when the injury is severe. If we could do it on our own, we would.
        It doesn’t have to be traditional therapy for mental or a M.D. for physical, just someone trained or experienced in helping.

  2. Well said. I learned the hard way that, if I don’t care for me, no one else will.

    Somewhere along the line, our culture, other cultures, morphed us into robots. Don’t think, don’t feel, just DO. It has had deadly consequences.

  3. Marleen

    Hey, Coffee. Help me out, will you? At times, you’ve said you have no children. You’ve said you’re married, yet at times said you were dating (and someone else asked you in the comments long ago what happened to your wife then — no answer). Are we to take your postings as coming from a generic anybody? (Real question.) I understand your anonymity, but the mix-up of basics like this just have me wondering.

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      I don’t ever recall talking about dating or not having a wife or not having children. Where did you read this Marleen?

      1. Marleen

        The not having children part was in answer to someone asking a question on one of your recordings as well as at least another time in written form. The part about dating was in an old (relatively speaking but not long enough ago to account for two kids*) post, which I ran across when I was looking back at previous topics after I first started reading here. Someone else (in the comments) asked the question as to where your wife was if you were dating, so I wasn’t the only one confused by what you were saying. I perceive that you are joking a lot of the time, so that’s why I ask if we are to know your presentation is generic (and not necessarily representative of yourself). That recording seemed real, though.

        *Given: I don’t know the year of that recorded topic, and it’s vaguely possible to pop out two kids in two years or less.

    2. He’s never said that. If he talked about him dating, he was probably referring to before he married. He’s married with kids. How many, he won’t say.

  4. I relate and 100% agree. I know first-hand that such a “suck it up” or “conceal, don’t feel” attitude is very, very dangerous to your mental health and how you act and make decisions.

  5. Pingback: How Long Until I’m Better? – miscellaneousoddity

      1. You never struck me as the type to get psychological and talk about healing as you’ve said yourself that you don’t like to talk to people about your problems. Surprisingly different and refreshingly so post, I must say.

  6. Yes please let your body heal in its own time. I was thinking just the other day, there are few things that have lasted in my house 66 years. My foundation and me. I think God knew and knows what He is doing.
    Once again, please let your body heal.

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