Automation Frustration

Driving home from work the other day I realized that the automatic transmission has had the unintended consequence of enabling distracted driving. Like a rowdy adolescent boy in school, we can’t be expected to remain seated and still for more than 2 minutes. We must distract ourselves from the monotonous task of driving tons of steel at highway speeds.

Ever since Americans forgot how to drive, was the same time that a standard transmission became standard no more. Now, suddenly we all drive like asian women!

When a manual was standard, we had more control over the entire automobile and we were fully engaged in the process of driving.

Much like the tampon made it so women could function in public when menstruating. The automatic transmission made women everywhere, eligible drivers.

The gear stick has been replaced with a selfie stick.

Somehow, we went from cruise control to automatic braking. They claim it’s to keep you safe, but really it’s because your dumb and dangerous.

Automobiles may have gotten better, but you, us, we have gotten worse!

If you wanna be an attentive driver, buy a manual.

I guarantee, you’ll feel more in control and you won’t glance at your phone. Plus, women like to be driven.


13 thoughts on “Automation Frustration

  1. Marleen

    Oh, Lord have mercy.


    The guy I know who wants to go more and more automated with cars (at least for himself) is, I’m quite sure, covering for the fact he’s less and less aware. (But it is also the case that he’s very computer oriented more generally.)

  2. Why are you using so much crudity? Is it for the wake up! Shock value? That’s an honest question, not a criticism.

    My first car was a Datsun 510 with auto transmission. When I lost all gears except reverse, we found a standard transmission in a junk yard and swapped it out. That when I learned to drive a stick shift. Sink or swim. I do/did enjoy the control of shifting gears myself, listening to the engine to know when, or just feeling it.
    Once you’re good at driving a standard, you can still be an irresponsible, distracted, multi-tasking idjit behind the wheel. Just sayin…

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      Hahah, I guess my humor is lost.

      Yeah, it’s true, that even driving a manual, it’s still possible to be distracted. But, I do think that the manual requires more attention and gives the driver something to focus on.

  3. I have a manual pickup. I prefer manual. It makes you more aware of the vehicle, itself. Engine tone, gearing down so you don’t burn up breaks…

    I remember the days of manual being the standard and auto transmissions having to be ordered. Same with air. I remember when air was not standard…or power steering.

    I don’t see how tampons have anything to do with driving.

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