Driving home from work the other day I realized that the automatic transmission has had the unintended consequence of enabling distracted driving. Like a rowdy adolescent boy in school, we can’t be expected to remain seated and still for more than 2 minutes. We must distract ourselves from the monotonous task of driving tons of steel at highway speeds.
Ever since Americans forgot how to drive, was the same time that a standard transmission became standard no more. Now, suddenly we all drive like asian women!
When a manual was standard, we had more control over the entire automobile and we were fully engaged in the process of driving.
Much like the tampon made it so women could function in public when menstruating. The automatic transmission made women everywhere, eligible drivers.
The gear stick has been replaced with a selfie stick.
Somehow, we went from cruise control to automatic braking. They claim it’s to keep you safe, but really it’s because your dumb and dangerous.
Automobiles may have gotten better, but you, us, we have gotten worse!
If you wanna be an attentive driver, buy a manual.
I guarantee, you’ll feel more in control and you won’t glance at your phone. Plus, women like to be driven.