The Hardest Aspect of Communication

The thing that seems to elude many when it comes to communication is the practice of listening. The majority of individuals have this innate trait of refusing everything that doesn’t coincide with what they believe.

Is language the issue, or grammar or the way they phrase something? I don’t believe any of these nuances or idiosyncrasies are really at fault. I could be wrong, but I think the issue lies in the heart. If you do not want to hear something, you simply shut it out.

Whether through ignoring nuances or immediately jumping to conclusions. We all do it, however, I don’t believe we all realize it. Call it empathy or compassion, for some reason, there are certain aspects and other things that people just don’t wanna talk about. So, collectively, we “let it go”, the problem persists.

Here is where the problem lies, in my mind. If something is close to the heart, it is often personal, therefore off limits completely. And that is where the problem in my mind, begins. You see, because, if a problem persists, yet a person refuses to attempt to locate the exact location where something might have failed, there is no use in attempting to fix or repair the entire issue.

Whenever I hear about something always being the fault of someone else or something else or whatever. It seems that perhaps the problem is in the heart and not in the head. The question that must be answered in this scenario is, what is the bottom line? You see, because that is rarely if ever truly discussed.

In business, the bottom line is always profit. At the end of the day, if there is no profit then there is no business. No business, means no job and no income. So, in the business sense, if a problem becomes apparent, it must be rectified, for that business to continue to turn a profit.

Yet in our personal lives, when discussing issues with others, the bottom line may be too hard to come to terms with. Since we may view the bottom line as our very lives or livelihoods, and it could very well be. Yet, we will never know if we don’t try. Then again, is the risk worth the reward? Again, a decision that can only be made by the individual.

In closing, understand that this is the very nature of all and every human. We all must survive and we all must provide. So, this will never change. It’s just a simply complex issue that we have been living with since the dawn of time. The lesson remains though, realize nothing will ever change, we are simply our own worst enemies.

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41 thoughts on “The Hardest Aspect of Communication

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      Thank you Dorothy. Please realize, I am guilty of this as well. This is not meant as a slander against anyone else. Just an observation.

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      Yeah, at the same time that’s dependent on the situation as well. If we become too open, we will surely be taken advantage of.

        1. bottomlesscoffee007

          Exactly Dorothy. It’s something that always has been and always will be. It’s been the end of us forever.

  1. Another important part besides listening is having empathy. If we aren’t empathetic to their points of view, then we might as well shut them down before they speak to us. We need to be a good listener and be empathetic to their views even if it’s different from ours.

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      I guess the question then is who is worthy of empathy and who is not. Who are we willing to hear out and who are we not?

        1. bottomlesscoffee007

          That’s the thing Feather. This is not a phenomenon of a few or even others. I think we all have this. We might push ourselves a little, but never fully. The results could be catastrophic.

          I’m not saying to not try. I think it’s just the way it is.

  2. 🙂 Unfortunately, everyone does not listen in an unbiased manner.

    Due to various types of psychological programming, people will simply ignore the things that they have a problem with or do not believe.

    Great topic, Bottomless Coffee 007.

  3. Of course we listen to What we want to, our mind constantly selects What it wants to keep and see how it can use it later on. Not only in business is this done 😉 Or business is everywhere 🙂

  4. In a lot of discussions, people aren’t listening, they’re just waiting for their turn to speak. Both parties have to be willing to step away from their comfort zones and try to see thru the other person’s eyes. A lot of people have too much fear and insecurity to do that.

    We are a society of insta-lives and “keeping up with the Joneses” (whoever the hell they are). We’ve all bought into the lie that the more we have/consume, the happier we’ll be. And make sure you step on every one else when you’re getting yours cuz they’re trying to take it from you.

    It’s all very depressing! One on one, small discussions… hopefully we’re changing things around us👍

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      You know what Granny!!!!

      It’s like speaking with a toddler. They are just learning to communicate, so when a toddler tries to tell you something, you stop and pay attention. It might come out twisted or sloppy, so you ask questions or ask them to say it again. Because you really want to understand what they are saying. Your championing them on to communicate.

      Yet once we are no longer toddlers, that level of interest is gone. We compete more than we communicate. We get hung up on a word or a phrase. We no longer wish to understand, we simply wish to dominate. Since that is how we have survived for so long.

        1. bottomlesscoffee007

          If we open ourselves too much, we no longer have any protection. It’s not a simple problem, but it is how we have simply lived.

          1. A good conversation goes back and forth. A true exchange of ideas. Both parties have to be willing to open up, to be a little vulnerable. Everything is so instantaneous now, that doesn’t work with true communication. It’s a process. Give a little, give a little more… We may never see eye to eye but at least we will have learned a little more about each other and hopefully diminished the fear and “otherness”.

              1. Hey! You’re doing your small part right here. You’re open to dialogue. You’re putting controversial topics out and giving an opinion. Doing it Anon just protects yourself and your family.
                Baby steps are still steps👍

                    1. bottomlesscoffee007

                      Very true Granny. It seems to me like everyone is talking about division and bullying and this and that, and that and this. But nobody is willing to offer a hand.

                      So, it’s always the other side or the other person who is claimed to always be at fault.

  5. I am the worst about just waiting for someone to take a breath so I can insert much more interesting information into a conversation. I have to constantly remind myself that listening isn’t a time to form a response that boosts my ego but to hear what response will add substance to what the other person is saying. I don’t know if that made sense so, I’ll stop right there…lol.

    Great post! Thanks.

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      I hear what your saying Mike. I think we all do that instinctively. Not to harm or hurt, but as a way to win.

  6. Communication! WOW! It’s tough when no one in the home communicates. I grew up with that. My dad said nothing. My mom said way too much. And my brothers and I had no say. So what I’ve learned about communication was very toxic to say the least. Yet, I always scored high in communication! I’m a great listener. But, when hubby and I argue; not so much. Not wanting to listen to hubby during an argument is a pride thing. I’m right and he’s wrong. When I finally come to my senses, I conclude that we’re both right and we’re both wrong. Only then can we sit down and work it out. And we always do. That’s why we’re still married after 46 years.

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