Beer Goggles, Steve and I Discuss What is the Best a Man Can Be?: TidePodcast Epic-Sode 56

Steve and Coffee talk men and what is the best a man can be.

 


BC007 gave a Shout-Out to Ursula from over @ An Up Turned Soul, head on over and let her know that Coffee sent ya!!!

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17 thoughts on “Beer Goggles, Steve and I Discuss What is the Best a Man Can Be?: TidePodcast Epic-Sode 56

  1. WHAT’S WRONG WITH DISNEY PRINCESSES? You know fairy tales don’t have to be totally realistic?! Do we want every book/ movie to be 100% accurate? We read/ watch movies to lose ourselves. To be transported somewhere else than here and now.
    @Steve, as a father, do you not want your daughter well taken care of? Do you not want her man to be chivalrous?

    I love it how I want to get on air and argue back, and then you (Coffee) basically say what I wanted to say. It happens SO often.

    Arranged marriages aren’t all evil. In fact, the divorce rate among those couples is a lot lower than in regular marriages.

    Coffee, you are absolutely amazing. So logical and reasonable. Especially when you talk about Gillette.

    It was riveting to listen to your “harassment” stories. I absolutely hate the argument of “you’ll never know”.

    @Steve, you telling Coffee to eat a dick is sexual harassment by your standards.

    Why do people question the victims of rape and not murdered people? Because they’re alive. Obviously. Don’t you question witnesses of an accident? Due process is due. Also innocent until proven guilty? Are we forgetting that? What keeps us from turning innocent people into criminals?

    Women go to nail salons and get wine/ champagne. Why don’t men get beers at the barber’s?

    Coffee, I feel like you’re censoring yourself on your podcasts. I’m just wondering whether it’s because of the guests? You don’t want to offend them? Or is it to not offend listeners?

    I wonder why Steve thinks Al-Qaeda doesn’t deserves respect but ANY American does.

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      What a synopsis Goldie. Thank you so very much for listening.

      That’s the thing, Steve and I engage in real conversation. He disagrees with me and and I with him. But it is honest and open.

      Why do you think I censor myself Goldie? Because I struggle to find words and how to phrase something? I don’t think I do, but I do have a problem with losing words and phrases from time to time.

    2. bottomlesscoffee007

      At the end of the day, I know that I go at it 100% and I hope Steve can say the same.

      Steve and I have a history together and we are super close friends. With that being said, I don’t think we’ve ever held back on each other.

      I think we just see things differently and that’s why we talk about it.

        1. bottomlesscoffee007

          With that being said, I still value your insight. I really do want everyone to have a say, and I truly want everyone to speak honestly and candidly.

    3. cannonball666

      Floating Gold, first and foremost thank you for your listening. Your time is valuable, thank you for spending it with us. To answer your question, no i don’t want my daughter to be taken care of. I want her to take care of herself. Of course I want her partner to be chivalrous, but I want her to be in a relationship that is one of equal partnership, not one of submission.
      Arranged marriages have never been cool for those involved, and treat the participants like property. Why do you think there is a low rate of divorce? Do you think that it’s because most cultures that still practice this also still turn a blind eye towards spousal abuse and honor killings?
      To the casual listener, me telling coffee to eat a dick might seem like sexual harrassment. I have known coffee for the better part of fifteen years, I assure you that this is more a colloquialism than an attempt to gain power and control. Power and control being a core motivator of individuals who sexually harass others. Being sexual in nature alone does not sexual harassment make.
      I drink beer every time I go to the barber, FYI.
      If coffee is censoring himself, I would attribute it to the fact that he respects me and my opinion, as I do the same. Believe it or not, there are times when I do not go full bore on coffee even though I am in complete disagreement with him. I try my best to come from a place of respect. At the end of the day however, this is a conversation among friends.
      I must say, however, that I find your last point unnerving And offensive to say the least. Why would I not respect my countrymen? I absolutely and intuitively know that Al Qaeda’s values do not deserve my respect, however I must respect their capabilities. Can you explain what you are inferring here?
      Floating Gold, you are more than welcome to join us in a full on conversation. The fact that you view me as a heel or foil in these podcasts is not lost on me, however I believe you have a lot to say. Why not say it out loud during a conversation with others?

      1. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply.

        Of course I don’t mean for your daughter to be useless/ at the mercy of her man. I was just wondering what is wrong with a little chivalry. Isn’t it nice to feel taken care of even if you take care of yourself? Isn’t it nice to have someone who cares? Why not just accept things at face value instead of looking for potential power struggle?

        You say that arranged marriages are never cool for those involved. I beg to differ. Of course, there are people who are forced into those. But there are also those who don’t view it as a traumatic thing. And while yes, some relationships can be unhealthy, there are a lot of them that learn to love one another and be a union. I know some personally. Arranged marriages are not only between 60 year old males and 10 year old women (err girls).

        No, I got that you telling Coffee to eat a dick was a joke. But that is exactly the point I was trying to make. We shouldn’t generalize. We should look at the intent of the specific individual. We need to look at the person on the receiving end. In another interview you said that “you’d look nicer if you smiled” was sexual harassment. Why is “eat a dick” not that? In fact, it is more expletive, crude, direct, etc. I’m just saying that it all depends on specific situations and circumstances. And you proved exactly that. Women try to create power and control over other women. Same with men on men. That does not mean that they want to rip their clothes off. That means that they are power hungry. Two totally different things. Power and control is the main motivator in sexual harassment? Again, from experience, I beg to differ. Basic instincts are the motivator. So if you’re sexual, but don’t want to assert power and control, then you are not sexually harassing someone? How does that work?

        I understand that you are a military man and you are serving THIS nation and fighting THOSE guys. I get it. More power to you. Thank you for that.

        Now with that being said, why are you generalizing? What about Americans, whose values are similar to Al Qaeda’s? Do you not think there are bad people in this country? Do you not think that there are people who are a part of Al Qaeda that are there not because they want to, but because they are blackmailed/ forced/ etc? Please, don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to defend them. I am just saying that our nation is not better just because it’s ours. I’m a huge patriot, but I see people on this soil who I don’t think deserve my respect. I get it on a survival level. However, on a deeper, more philosophical level, I’d give this more of a thought.

        Why would you think I think of you that way? Not at all. I just disagree with some of the things you say, and I long to gain better understanding of your thought process.

        It can go either way. I can be the most quiet person in the room. But when I’m passionate about something, and I feel like I’m somewhere where my opinions can be heard, I go for it. Coffee and I have been discussing me coming on. However, due to a couple of factors unrelated to you or the topics of the discussions, I am yet to do so. I find text conversations suitable for now.

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      I was trying to figure out if I should submit something or if I had to wait. Thanks for the clarification Rory.

  2. Thanks for the shout outs to me and the hubs!

    BC: I don’t think you’re an idiot; however, sometimes you do say idiotic things. Those are not equal.

    I really need to give you more fire power against me than just Nickelback – I can tell you will beat this horse long after its dead if I don’t.

    Princess movies. I agree in part with both Steve’s wife and with Goldie – I don’t think you have to cut out seeing/reading fairy tales in order to teach young ladies to be the superheroes in their own lives. You can do both.

    Arranged marriage. Again, Goldie is right – statistically, arranged marriages don’t end in divorce as often as traditional marriages, but those statistics don’t break down any of the intentions/motivations for being married. There are also plenty of non-arranged marriages that are gone into for purely “business” reasons (e.g., insurance, tax breaks, etc.). I think what most Americans flip out over in arranged marriages is their perception that the female in those marriages are treated as chattel and don’t have a say. Our society hard wires us to be against any practice that suffocates our individual “freedom”. Americans also tend to ignore those arranged marriages that are entered into freely by both parties – and they DO happen.

    Immigrants. I think the point BC was trying to make is that when legal immigrant children from other countries come to America, they are grateful for the opportunities our society and education system provide while American kids take it for granted and many piss it away entirely. I don’t disagree. I also think the other side of that is the immigrant child’s parents then force their “home” society’s norms on them regarding a strong work ethic, overachieving, etc. Some American parents do push their kids, but not usually to the degree or intensity immigrant parents do and most expect their kids to be self-driven…which fails a lot of the time.

    The Gillette commercial. BC, you already know my stance on this as we got into it in the comment section of your original blog post on the subject and I really don’t want to reiterated the entire thing. They are challenging long held social norms, which are changing – it’s a hot issue and I have zero problem with them using their large public platform to shine light on social issues. I agree that we should also be calling them out on all their hypocrisy, but I don’t think they shouldn’t be allowed to also be a part of social discussions. They have a voice too – you have the ultimate freedom to choose whether or not you want to give any weight to it, but it doesn’t make others wrong if their opinion is different. As I originally commented in your blog post, I don’t give a crap about whatever their political/social messages are – if I like their shaving cream, I’ll buy their shaving cream.

    Steve: FYI – I comment on many of BC’s blog posts. You have even replied to some of my comments, so I don’t believe you when you say you don’t read them. I am relatively choosy about which ones I dive into, but I think the ones I’ve chosen have been relatively “reasonable” when it came to the overall feel of the discourse. I’m sure there are a lot of “me toos” in those comments, though I tend to ignore those since I don’t think of those comments as particularly valuable aside from offering support to the author.

    Wearing MAGA hats v. wearing sexy clothes are two very different things. Wearing anything printed with a message or logo printed on it to show your stance or support of something invites judgment and commentary. A female wearing clothes that they feel they look good in shouldn’t make it open season for every Tom, Dick and Harry to make sexual remarks. On the flip side of that, all the women I’m friends with understand that when they go out looking good, it’s very possible/likely it will happen regardless. This is why we tend to travel in packs. Safety in numbers. Generally, we also edit our outfits before leaving the house to make sure we don’t think we look too slutty because we don’t want to tacitly “invite” those responses. In addition, it’s always discussed that girls look good when going out and, therefore, invite dudes to comment…okay, it’s possible that’s true in some circumstances – but it’s also true that, often, ladies won’t do anything special to go out to shoot some pool or grab a drink with some friends and they still have to deal with that unwanted behavior.

    1. bottomlesscoffee007

      Gosh Heather, to be or not to be an “idiot”! It is what it is and this isn’t the first time I’ve been told I say idiotic things, then again, I hope this is not the consensus.

      I think there are more angels than what Steve, You or I bring into this arena. With that being said, the honesty, candor and openness that we use to discuss such issues is of utmost importance. Do I think I have a solid understanding of what is discussed? Yes, at the same time, I want to thoroughly understand, so I ask questions, until I understand.

      The MAGA hat controversy could be the same as any other piece of clothing that one chooses to wear. Just like you ladies, I ain’t gonna don any type of garb that would bring with it unwanted attention. Sad, but true, this is a reality, whether cleavage or MAGA, someone is gonna want to say something.

      What I was trying to illustrate is, giving children too many options if they already don’t have some direction often results in the opposite of cultivating success. Whereas, if a child is given that direction and motivation, they usually remain focused on the task at hand. Much like children and sports avoiding drugs or other questionable behavior.

      But that’s the reason behind these blogs and talks, none of us have all the answers or the right questions, so we all collaborate.

      As always Dame Heather, I adore and value your insight and commentary. Even though we usually disagree, I know that you are providing the “no-shit” truth from where you are standing. And that’s all I ask for.

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